wish i could go to Warped in Detriot since i missed out Cleveland's but i have no ride.....and my guess is i'm working that day.......

i have just realized i have ZERO friends that i still talk to....i was looking through my missed and recieved calls and hmm lets see the only person that f*ing calls me is my damn boyfriend maybe Sabina....and 1 or 2 numbers i don't notice......i NEVER do anything anymore....i remember last summer when i had a shit ton of friends....i was either hanging with drew and them.....or over at kyle's house with haley and them....for about a month of last summer i hung out with ducey and tyler and them....it was so much fun....this summer has absolutely BLOWN.....i mean i've had fun and i love hanging out with drew and spending time with him but i need more friends than just my boyfriend....don't ya think??

i'm pathetic

i said i wasn't gonna update no more....so i just made this site pretty and i will use this one...MUAH HAHAHAHA

haven't done that in a while sorry

i'm listening to my "girlie mix" as haley likes to call it

Things about me!!

1. my best friends are haley and drew
2. I've had a boyfriend for almost 11 months
3. I love him with all of my heart
4. I'm not a fake
5. my boobs are REAL
6. I'm really not a bad person once you get to know me
7. My last day at BK is the 20th..
8. The 26 i start a new job at HOLIDAY INN
9. i'm supposed to go to maryland with my lover next weekend
10. i really want his brother to like me even though i don't act like it
11. i need a girls night out BADLY
12. i do love my mom
13. some times i HAVE to listen to girlie love/rap songs
14. I know every word to Neil Sedaka's greatest hits CD
15. Although TBS is "too big for warped" i still can stop listening to them
16. Haley made me a rebel (hahaha)
17. i'm not a slut
18. i don't put out
19. i occasionally smoke
20. and i occasionally drink
21. i used to make myself puke cause stupid girls called me fat
22. that made me have a stumach ulcer
23. and eroded my esophagus ((sp))
24. i used to have braces
25. i'm scared to graduate
26. i want to make something of myself someday
27. i wanna specialize in Teenage Psychology and start my own practice in a big big city
28. sometimes i feel alone
29. people rarely ever understand me
30. i was once considered suicidal as my counsler put it
31. i don't like feeling pitty from others
32. i don't usually open up to people very often
33. i LOVE to eat cucumbers
34. i eat ketchup with almost everything
35. i hate peach propel
36. my best friend and i used to keep notebooks when we were apart i have 8...she has a ton too
37. trust is not easily gained with me
38. my mom used to tell me i was a failure all the time
39. i've "straightened" up this year
40. i failed geometry but still had a 2.88 gpa ((yeah that is horrible i know))
41. i hate school
42. i'm lazy
43. i just ap rolled for 15 min than stoped cause my abs were burning
44. i hate drama although i'm attracted to it
45. i love Crunch wrap supreme's
46. i was a vegetarian for a week.....my mom made me eat meat
47. i have dated a circle of friends (more like a square)
48. my neighbor is my ex
49. i don't get along with girls from st. joe for some reason?
50. i'm fat
51. not really fat chubby
52. i'm hungary
53. i keep a journal in a Napolean Dynamite notebook with ligers on the pages
54. i have to work at 5:30 in the morning tomarrow
55. i'm tired and hungary

 i LOVE him

  ::this one makes me think of haley's pets::

 i LOVE my  haley
 oh so emo
 best friends just being best friends
 that is my dress haley got me for christmas--and we look hot ((i look a little fat...but o'well))

confusion and emotions always get the best of me--and they always seem to bring out the worst--my jealousy--and hate not only for others but also for myslef--i wish i could just sit here and rant and rave and tell the whole entire world how i feel but i can't--cause i'm ashamed--so the only thing i can do is say i feel like shit--and write about it in haley's notebookk--she's the best at keeping my secrets--i LOVE her so much--

i've been thinking--for a while--it's finally driving me BANANA'S--not even that--it's depressing me--i'm going to talk to my counsler on Thursday--i think  i need to tell her about the one relationship that still seems to bother me--the one that i have been trying to avoid talking about--cause as soon as i say it--i'm going to regret it i know it--but now i really don't care--i know as soon as we get into the conversation the water works will come--just as they are now--it's truely pathetic--WHY CAN'T I JUST BE HAPPY???--why is it that every damn time i start to get happy someone just pops my bubble???--why???--i can't take this anymore